CNN’s Don Lemon talks to Goldie Taylor and Crystal Wright about Vice President Joe Biden’s remarks supporting gay marriage.
I saw it coming, the day I would really have to wrestle with my soulful pain. Like women who are raped, I was raped by men. When Joe Biden came out for gay marriage, and forced President Obama to do the same, this week has been torture for me. We do call males who rape women and girls, ‘sexual predators’ or pedophiles When men rape boys, we also call them ‘sexual predators’ and ‘pedophiles.’ But we really haven’t had the talk about men raping men. Somehow it just fell through the cracks. My tortured soul this week, was trying to talk about it on Facebook, without get blocked. I tried, but still got blocked. I had to open this account to try again.
I can’t just sit with my pain, and ignore the pressure on my old body and mind. I’m also a disabled Vet., with doctor’s orders to lay low, and don’t get too wound-up. I have a traumatic head injury, body injuries, and PTSD. I’m quite vulnerable, since I was drafted in 1968. In my teenage days, I was bullied for being ‘me’ in a way that people didn’t understand. I enjoyed horticulture more than playing sports. After Little League, I started talking agriculture and horticulture classes, and quit sports activities. Even the gay kids, who were in the closet back then, started making passes at me. When I got out of the Army, I was so full of PTSD, I was a basket case. Men in Los Angeles started making passes at me, and in my daze and confusion, got the best of me. Over the next ten years, in my 20′s and early 30′s, three rapes occurred.
People with PTSD, often drink to self medicate. When the news of John Travolta hit this week, I was also in more pain, as one of my offenders, was a Hollywood film industry person, who took advantage of me. So I know how the Travolta accusers felt. If the case turns out to be false, the premise is quite real, and an analogous situation occurred in my cases of abuse. Over the years, I have wrestled with forgiveness, not forgiving, and how to forgive myself for the awful fear which has led to broken relationships with women. I know how it feels, when women get raped, and can no longer trust men in-general. So when people try to call me homo-phobic and a bigot, I try to forgive these people. But this week was so hard. Within the ideal of gay marriage, we still cannot seem to talk about the sexual assaults, men on men, and that there are just some men that should never be fathers, and never be around other young men who they might rape. If you bring it up, the Liberal media and the gay community pounce. I get raped every time I try to talk about it.
When Lisa Bloom came out with the book, ‘Swagger,’ I was so glad. It’s a brave bold attempt to get a much needed talk going, about how men treat women badly, within songs, the media, etc. For me, the same thing is true within the gay community. I’ve had gay roommates, during my times trying to forgive. I was constantly harassed with advances, by both flamboyant and S&M type gays. I literally watched a roommates take a Gerbil and pull off the claws. I know there must be some great gays men, who have ethics, etc. I went for supporting the ending of DADT, because I never had a problem in the Army. Plus I know that in today’s Army, women soldiers are the ones by men. But with my fear, I cannot be around gay men. It’s just the way it is. I’ve forgiven myself for that. But I still need to talk about it, to help others. Bullying is a 2-way street. Some gay men do bully straight men, or younger boys/men. It needs to be talked about. When we guard large groups of people, and don’t talk about the possible offenders within, society loses over teachable moments gone by.
As with ‘Swagger’, we can confront the men who disrespect and harm women, and hide within the dumbed-down pop culture. Within gay marriage, we need to talk about alot of potential harm from some men, and not sweep it under the idealistic rug, now that half of America wants it. Young people are accepting porn, TV has two polygamy shows on, and we can’t say that negative influences won’t occur in the lives of boys and girls or men and women, from what we blindly accept. Music and video games have negatively effected our young people, because when we try to talk about it, others slap us down. I quit listening to The Rolling Stones, way back when one song said, “she’s under my thumb.” Now, I just want to feel that I have an input, because of what happened to me, over and over.
I’m not saying we can’t have gay marriage, I’m saying we need to look at what is expected of men and women of different sexual persuasions – ethics, and the well-being of children involved. If we are going to challenge men who inflict pain on women, we must also challenge those who inflict pain in all realms. My mother was a flyswatter wielding angry woman who beat my sister and I. Some women shouldn’t be mothers, straight or gay. My wife was a serial cheater, who ruined the one good relationship I thought at first, would last. We all need some lessons on what life could be, though the people who can’t listen, seem to run the society. My landlady tells me I have to accept the pot smokers she rents to, because it’s a personal chose, despite the drug related buglaries and domestic violence crimes. Gay marriage may go through, but the rest of the Liberal agenda, including legalizing pot, has me going Independent. I’ve been a Democrat since the late 1960′s, when I could first vote, despie coming from a Republican family and despite getting drafted by a Democrat.
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