It’s been a tough week, for obvious reasons, and it seems I’ve exchanged one weight for another. I will never forget what happened to me 26 years ago and, likewise, I will never forget your outpouring of support. I never wanted to be called a “victim”. I made choices as a young person that will haunt me all of my living days.
But there is a certain sadness in hearing all of the stories of unspoken abuse that continue to pour into my email account and across social networks. It seems there is no safe harbor.
My abuser has been fired by the school district he worked for. It was never my aim to bring harm to the students I’ve never met. But at the end of the day, I could not be certain that the abuse had ended. I will carry the guilt of not coming forward sooner for a very long time.
My heart is heavy today. I have not left the house or eaten. I’m still looking for “home”, in search of peace.
So if this message finds you in a place where you felt you did not have the courage to speak up, I add my voice to yours. See something, say something. Do something.
My decision to “out” my abuser did not come easy. Hindsight is 20/20. Maybe there was another way. I took the only path I knew.
And so, I am alone with myself… Negotiating rough waters. But I stand by this: Speak truth even if your voice shakes.
I am shaking now, opening a new chapter of unknowns, sure that I did the right thing. My faith sustains me. It is the only help I know.
Today, as I pray for the victims of sexual abuse, I need you to pray for me.
Peace, be still.